Singled Out by Bella DePaulo

Author:Bella DePaulo
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Gender Psychology, Marriage, Social Science, Love / Sex / Marriage, Sociology, Interpersonal Relations, Non-Classifiable, Gender Studies, Single people
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2006-08-05T16:00:00+00:00

There are separate sections on single women and single men. The section on the single women begins with the bottom line: "At the end of the study, as at its beginning, single women were leading more satisfying, meaningful lives than single men." Hetherington then describes in general terms the contours of these women's lives—spending time with friends, traveling, caring for one another and for relatives, and participating in church activities.

But, she notes, scattered among the successes were "some dark spots." (There's the dark aura again.) To illustrate, she recounts her last interview with Betty Ann, a woman whose marriage had ended violently. To wit, Roger pummeled Betty Ann until she had two broken ribs and two black eyes. She, in turn, whacked Roger on the head with a poker.

After an initial acknowledgment that Betty Ann was managing a store (apparently successfully and on her own), Hetherington lights into her:

She was leading an almost pitifully stripped-down life. . . . There was no new man in her life. . . . she was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and consuming a six-pack of beer each evening as she sat watching television alone. . . . Stocky when I first met her, she weighed almost 270 pounds when the study ended. . . . and drove people off with her sullen, sarcastic demeanor.

That was the end of the section on single women and their meaningful lives.

IMow on to the single men. The opening line is "Some of our single men ended the study in states ranging from melancholy to despair." Hetherington then talks generally about some of the factors that landed these divorced men in their now sorry single state. Some never did develop networks of friends, and some who had children were estranged from them. Others were hampered by age-related illnesses.

Health problems, though, Hetherington is quick to add, were not unique to the single men. One of the single women in the study talked about an elderly neighbor who seemed to have few visitors other than a nurse: "Her whole life is sitting on the front porch and watching soap operas. Every time I see her, I think, Is that going to be me in thirty years?"

Back to the single men. Not all were having a difficult time after their

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